Thank you - I did it!

I can't possibly thank all of you enough for the incredible amount of support I received on my last post. You may have noticed I haven't been here - I've simply been 'hunkering down' and dealing with one thing at a time. But last Monday - the event that had sparked off such anxiety - took place. 

And I was there!

My gorgeous eldest daughter graduated from King's College in London and I actually made the train journey there and back to attend the ceremony. I knew that if I hadn't gone the guilt would have been almost unbearable, and perhaps it was this that actually spurred me into taking some action. 

So - how did I do it?

I had hypnotherapy.

A colleague of my husband had recommended a very well known hypnotherapist who had helped her quit a thirty year smoking habit. And he lived locally. 

Worth a try? 

I remember saying on my very first session that I would be amazed if it actually worked! But he immediately made me feel as though I wasn't alone, and had complete faith in the fact that my issue was reversible. Through various relaxation and visualisation exercises he handed me the 'tools' to deal with my phobia. Instead of that dreadful feeling of 'fight or flight' I was able to utilise these to minimise it. This handed me back control - and with this confidence - which I was able to summon as needed. There were a couple of times during the day where I did need them - and they worked. My husband didn't even realise I was feeling anxious! Now I know that I can do this I know that I can do it again! It's a bit like setting out on a long bike ride without a puncture repair kit - wouldn't you feel better knowing that you had one just in case?!

There was no magic wand. Every night I squirrelled myself away and practised my visualisation. I can't tell you how much I would recommend this - whether you have a particular anxiety or not it was wonderfully relaxing and, like anything, became easier with practice. 

I still have worries about staying away overnight - that is my next 'challenge' if you like - but now I know that I have achieved something I had previously thought impossible, I am willing to accept it can happen. 

So - my advice to you? Please never feel that your fear is 'silly'. No matter what it is that makes you anxious it is very real to you. Speak to others. The amount of support and advice that you gave me here showed that people do understand, and that there are so many different ways of tackling an issue.

I  apologise that I have not managed to get around to replying to all of your comments but I had no idea how this story would end. As it is it hasn't ended. In fact it's begun a whole new chapter. And it looks brighter than it has done for a very long time!

Thank you!

Jane

xxx

A song, a journey and some fabric!

To the tune of For He's a Jolly Good Fellow.

I met a girl called Jo

Who told me what she knew

About a fabric gold mine

About a fabric gold mine

About a fabric gooooold miiiiiiiiine

In a place called Oswestry.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...

I knew I had to go

A long way off I know

But I knew of a lovely cafe

I knew of a lovely cafe

I knew of a lovely caaaaaaaaaaaaafeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Where I ate and fed the ducks.

Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen ...

I carried on my way

On such a lovely day

I asked for lots of directions

I asked for lots of directions

I asked for lots of direeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeections

To get me to my shop.

Whispers in awe - Textile Express  

I walked into a dream

Bulging at the seams

With every kind of fabric

With every kind of fabric

With every kind of faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabriiiiiiiiiiic

All at a bargain price.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd ...

I went from room to room

The choices made me swoon

With linen, silk and cotton

Corduroy and chambray

Lace and velvet and poooopliiiiiiiiiiin

I had to make a choice.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo ...

I didn't know where to start

So decided to follow my heart

I chose some jazzy cotton

And then some floral poplin

With lots of lovely lineeeeeeeeeeeen

And a couple of trimmimgs too!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooow ...

My purse is nice and light

But what a lovely sight

I'm not sure what to do with it

I'm not sure what to do with it

I'm not sure what to do with iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Any suggestions please!

And as a final thank you for the tip off

For Jo's a jolly good fellow

For Jo's a jolly good fellow

For Jo's a jolly good fellooooooooooooooow

Pop over and say hello!

Find Jo over here.

(Apologies for the dire use of rhyme)

Jane

xxx

Hen's Teeth Workshop

I've admired the work of Viv Sliwka from Hen's Teeth for a while now, so when a chance came up to attend one of her workshops I couldn't resist. 

Known for her use of  beautiful old textiles, combined with embroidery and other ephemera, she creates all manner of delights.

So it was that on a murky Saturday morning several weeks ago I set off for Weston Park. 

The brief had asked us to take along any bits and pieces that we would like to incorporate in our work, so I had spent the evening before cramming my basket with all sorts of 'tat'!

As I pulled up I was greeted by the friendliest black cat. Monty has 'adopted' Weston Park and, more particularly, it's visitors in exchange for lots of attention and the occasional titbit.

He showed me to the workshop and it was there that I suddenly realised everybody looked like they knew what they were doing, were incredibly creative and would soon be sniggering at my embarrassing attempts at French knots.

I needn't have worried.

The other participants were lovely. All had different levels of expertise and all were willing to share what they knew.

Viv was an absolute star. She encouraged us to just 'have a go' at something, take ownership and go with our instinct. I think this was my biggest barrier. I am so used to following a pattern and working within a framework that I found it quite difficult to just let go.

The only thing I knew was that I wanted to make a needle case. So, using some templates and a stamp that represented dear old Jessie, I got stuck in. 

Early thoughts

Or rather I stared at things a lot, had a look at what everyone else was doing and ate some cake.

Then got stuck in.

And do you know once I got started it was difficult to stop. I ate lunch between stitches. I drank coffee between stitches. And it was only as the workshop came to an end I realised that I hadn't even visited the ladies room between stitches!

There was cake. There was laughing. There was the inevitable discussion as to who was going to win the Great British Sewing Bee.

And I even found out how to do a French knot! 

I was a bit worried about the group photo as I knew my work wasn't in quite the same vein as the others but, do you know,  the more I looked at it the more I liked it! And it was for that very reason of having let go and creating something that was completely my own. Something I will definitely tap into in the future.

Can you spot Jessie Dog in the middle?

I completed the case over the following few days.

Want to see?

 If you ever get the chance to go to one of Viv's workshops grab it! You can find out more about them on her blog.

Meanwhile look what popped through the letter box the other day. 

Hmmmmmm? 

Could I?

Bit scared!

 Watch this space!

Jane

xxx

The Charging Rhino

It hasn't quite turned out as planned. 

After a fairly gruelling start to the year the half term break had been hovering just ahead like a sparkly oasis. Time to breathe I thought. Maybe visit some new places and take some much needed restorative walks. 

Renew my perspective. 

Look forward.

But then came the tickle.

Just a little one but significant nonetheless.

The tickle that is soon followed by hot eyes and a runny nose.

The charging rhino had come to a stop. 

Now before I  continue I had better explain the analogy. Apparently when one is under a certain amount of daily pressure the only way to get through it is to put your head down and barge through. This stops you from getting attacked by wild animals and eaten. However once the threat/pressure/ situation has passed it is time to stop charging and relax. And just when you do so those sneaky little critters catch you from behind and before you know it you've got a cold. 

Or at least it goes something like that.

And so it goes that I'm writing this from my bed, surrounded by tissues, blisteze and old magazines.

Of course I'm very fortunate. Mike is also on his break and keeps popping in with much welcomed cups of tea and home made soup. I've got a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in.

But things have still been going on.

On Tuesday we had some new carpets fitted. I know you'll be enthralled to hear more but all I'm going to say is that after twenty years of children, dogs and rabbits skipping about we now have cream carpet adorning our stairs and landing. That's right. CREAM! What were we thinking? But it does look lovely even if any trip up and down stairs now demands clean feet. And our bedroom, where we have insisted on keeping hold of our original Victorian boards even though they were scarred with woodworm trails, is now covered in a luxurious tuft!

Of course this included a mass movement of furniture which started a bit of a sort. Started mind you, not finished. We are now paused - mid sort.

Wednesday saw the cold break but did not stop us visiting the theatre. This time I was accompanied by Mike to see the fantastic John Shuttleworth at the New Vic Theatre in nearby Newcastle under Lyme. Now I realise that drink and drugs should never mix but to be honest I hadn't realised that a small mid interval gin and tonic (always a theatre treat) would react so potently with three days of cold medicine.

Goodness me I haven't laughed so much for a long time. Tears were rolling down my face!

But don't do that at home.

Which brings us back to now. My body has finally said no, stop it, I've had enough. Stop feeling guilty about things you had planned to do and let those little critters have their way. And if that means staying put and being waited on by others then so be it! 

Appreciate it. Let it happen.

A dear friend bought me this cushion at Christmas and the sentiment always makes me stop and think.

Take care and, if your rhino does need to take a breather, watch out for sneaky critters.

Jane

xxx

P.S. Preparations are now well under way for our bloggy get together in Stratford in April. It would be so nice to meet you, so if you're even a teensy bit curious as to what we're going to be up to, give myself or dear old Gilly a shout!

Something to look forward to!

Thank you.

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

The comments that you left on my last post were so thoughtful, so kind and so warm. They have helped both myself and the whole family come to terms with a sad moment.

But I don't want to dwell too much more here.

There is indeed something to look forward to!

Some time ago I met up with some lovely bloggers over at Shugborough. Before we left there was talk of getting together again. Gilly from gilly makes suggested Stratford as a meeting place as that's not only her stomping ground but also the home of the fantastic Sew Me Something (oh and of course an old writer called Bill). 

What could be better? 

After a recent flurry of emails a date was set and we oh so hope that some of you will be able to join us. Gilly has posted all the details over here - take a look! I know some of you might feel a bit shy about meeting up but I can assure you we will all be in the same boat.

So check your diaries and get in touch - either over here or at Gilly's.

Look forward to meeting you!

Jane

xxx

Hidden Treasures

I think it's only fair to warn you about this post. Mr K has recently treated me to a new camera and today was it's first outing. Needless to say I was particularly snap happy so if you fancy some eye candy (where on earth did that phrase come from?) rather than my customary poignant and inspiring writings (!) go ahead. 

Just saying.

Some time ago I wrote about Leek - a nearby market town with a wealth of history set among beautiful Staffordshire scenery. So when they advertised a Dickensian market Mr K and I thought it would be the perfect way to celebrate the start of the Christmas holidays. The weather was predicted to be fine and bright but - as we drove across in heavy sleet and rain - my expectations were considerably lowered. The market was still on but the weather had obviously taken it's toll. Some treasures still caught my eye however.

Sadly the rain was coming down too hard to have a proper mooch so we quick stepped it around the wild mallards to the indoor market.

Fortunately the nativity scene was under shelter.

And at last we felt a touch of Christmas past.

Although this little chap had clearly had enough!

Not sure what was going on outside Boots but it was all very jolly.

In a valiant effort to keep warm and dry we ducked into places hitherto unexplored.

Friends from my knitting group have often mentioned the store Bibelot and  I expected it to be a small town style wool shop. 

How wrong I was!

As we entered Mr K immediately recognised the proprietors as two of his old students. As he was waxing lyrical about the 'old days' I decided to have a peek upstairs. 

Look what I found.

And although I like Cath Kidston to a degree I couldn't help but be bowled over by this display of loveliness.

It just carried on.

Where to look? What to do? Where to buy? I was actually so totally phased by the amount of stuff in there that I came away with nothing - apart the firmest of intentions to attend one of their friendly craft courses in the New Year.

Next stop was a cafe called Spout. 

We were immediately greeted by young friendly staff and invited to choose from a fantastic range of goodies from the menu. Settling for the simple teacake option (!) we explored the rest of the rather large, rather quirky, rather beautiful old building.

Even the toilet had a distinct personality!

Upstairs there was a fantastically well stocked ale store called The Bottle Lab.

Needless to say quite some time was spent in perusal mode.

By the time we left it was dark.The way home across the moors and hills was speckled with fairy lights of various  colours, shapes and sizes - notably one that was in the shape of a bus. 

Who knows? 

Looking back the weather did us a favour. We explored indoors rather than out and in doing so were treated with a wealth of treasures.

And of course we couldn't resist bringing this little chap home.

Hope you are keeping warm and well.

Jane

xxx

Looking closer

As the clocks went back this weekend we were all treated to that precious extra hour in bed. But the flip side is that the nights are with us far sooner now, and being able to enjoy those dwindling hours of daylight is becoming more of a luxury. Long gone are the carefree days whereby we could just decide to go for a walk and not pay any heed to the time. Now we have to consider where we might be when it gets dark, will we need a torch, are we sure of the direction?

When some dear friends came to visit at the weekend Mr K and I wanted to show them our new favourite walk - the Aston to Burston loop. 

By the time we set off along the canal we were already losing the light.

Looking to the left over to the marina.

And to the right over the fields.

I loved this seat - I wonder who made it?

And the back of this grand house with it's walled garden.

Up to the stile.

Then looking back across the bridge to that glorious red tree  - I can't remember the name, can you?

Over the fields now toward the river.

Looking down through the last of the brightly coloured leaves.

 The sun sinking behind the treeline.

And the birds gathering across the lake.

Stark silhouettes.

Last time we were here the hay bales were waiting for collection.

Now the earth is resting until the spring.

The hedges have been pleached.

But by now the light had almost gone and it was almost impossible to keep taking pictures.

One final treat though as we headed home was this pond. I'd never noticed it before - perhaps lush summer growth had obscured the view - but now it seemed calm and magical.

Although the colours have all but faded this was a wonderful walk. Perhaps we appreciate the colours that are left all the more. We have to look a little more closely but the appreciation is ten fold.

By the time we returned home it was pitch black. We lit the fire and tucked in to our home made apple cake and fresh coffee. We were pretty tired by then but were left with ruddy cheeks, muddy boots and lovely memories.

Jane

xxx

P.S. I've had some great responses to my request for spooky stories but would love to hear more in time for Hallowe'en. If you think you could contribute take a look at my post here - I'll look forward to hearing from yoooooooooou...........