All is well!

It's me again. 

Bobbing back and forth. 

Determined to get back into the swing of writing something interesting but continually getting distracted.

And I'm sure you know what with.

(Did I mention we have an allotment?)

So here, in a five minute nutshell, is what I've been up to.

Other things have been afoot of course.

There's a blanket in the making.

And a hat.

A tunic is being stitched.

And of course plenty of pickling and jamming.

And soon, very soon, I will get around to sharing.

Meanwhile I'm still here. 

Still enjoying popping over to your place and seeing what you've been up to.

Just keeping a little bit quiet. 

Which is not like me at all!

But all is well.

And I hope you are too!

Jane

xxx

Thank you - I did it!

I can't possibly thank all of you enough for the incredible amount of support I received on my last post. You may have noticed I haven't been here - I've simply been 'hunkering down' and dealing with one thing at a time. But last Monday - the event that had sparked off such anxiety - took place. 

And I was there!

My gorgeous eldest daughter graduated from King's College in London and I actually made the train journey there and back to attend the ceremony. I knew that if I hadn't gone the guilt would have been almost unbearable, and perhaps it was this that actually spurred me into taking some action. 

So - how did I do it?

I had hypnotherapy.

A colleague of my husband had recommended a very well known hypnotherapist who had helped her quit a thirty year smoking habit. And he lived locally. 

Worth a try? 

I remember saying on my very first session that I would be amazed if it actually worked! But he immediately made me feel as though I wasn't alone, and had complete faith in the fact that my issue was reversible. Through various relaxation and visualisation exercises he handed me the 'tools' to deal with my phobia. Instead of that dreadful feeling of 'fight or flight' I was able to utilise these to minimise it. This handed me back control - and with this confidence - which I was able to summon as needed. There were a couple of times during the day where I did need them - and they worked. My husband didn't even realise I was feeling anxious! Now I know that I can do this I know that I can do it again! It's a bit like setting out on a long bike ride without a puncture repair kit - wouldn't you feel better knowing that you had one just in case?!

There was no magic wand. Every night I squirrelled myself away and practised my visualisation. I can't tell you how much I would recommend this - whether you have a particular anxiety or not it was wonderfully relaxing and, like anything, became easier with practice. 

I still have worries about staying away overnight - that is my next 'challenge' if you like - but now I know that I have achieved something I had previously thought impossible, I am willing to accept it can happen. 

So - my advice to you? Please never feel that your fear is 'silly'. No matter what it is that makes you anxious it is very real to you. Speak to others. The amount of support and advice that you gave me here showed that people do understand, and that there are so many different ways of tackling an issue.

I  apologise that I have not managed to get around to replying to all of your comments but I had no idea how this story would end. As it is it hasn't ended. In fact it's begun a whole new chapter. And it looks brighter than it has done for a very long time!

Thank you!

Jane

xxx

A bit of a serious one.

Okay folks. If you're reading this I've obviously pressed publish.

 You've maybe noticed that I haven't been around much lately. I've been tootling along at the allotment and getting on with some bits and bobs but truth is it's been a bit rough of late. Physically we are all well and I thanks our lucky stars every day for that. But emotionally it's been a bit tough. In March I was told I had lost my beloved teaching job alongside six others at our school through some drastic financial cuts. I still have to teach until the end of term, so the whole affair is like pulling a plaster off very, very slowly. Of course we also lost our lovely Jessie a few months ago and although time is healing matters it still comes back and thumps you in the stomach sometimes. And although mum is now on the up we have had twelve months of scans, specialists and appointments to get her to this point.

But - and I have thought long and hard about whether I should share this - I also suffer from a ridiculous phobia. For many years now I have been unable to stay anywhere overnight. I feel an absolute fear if I am not able to go somewhere and get back the same day. This fear has now developed further and I find the idea of travelling any distance by train absolutely terrifying. I have tried to reason it so many times in my head but the fact is that these things - however strange they might appear - now act as a trigger for a huge amount of anxiety. Fortunately my life isn't dominated by these issues and my family are wonderfully supportive. However I have an event coming up in eight weeks - (that's right - eight weeks!) - that I can't possibly miss and it involves a two and a half hour train journey each way. Already I am feeling the anxiety kick in. I desperately want to enjoy this event and was just wondering if any of you have ever suffered something similar - and if so have you tried anything to help?

So there it is. A bit of a serious post but knowing how lovely you all are I feel sure that you will be able to offer some wise words.

And if you've stuck with it and managed to read this far - thank you.

Jane

xxx

I'm still here - it's just that I'm over there!

Truth is I've been distracted. 

Completely and utterly distracted. 

And for the last few weeks I've been spending the majority of my spare time over at the allotment. 

I know. 

I've kept it very quiet! 

I don't want to bore you with all of the details but if you do want to pop over and take a peek you can see me here.

Meanwhile I've been enjoying my own garden. 

What a fantastic time of year it is out there. 

So here's a few of my favourites.

Meanwhile I'm off to don a wet suit and lash some poles together ....

Hope you are enjoying the flowers wherever you are.

Jane

xxx

(All will be revealed soon!)

The robin that came a bobbin'

As you know I love my garden birds and, after the recent disaster of the poor little blackbird chick, we have had the joy of a new clutch of robins. The mum and dad have been very attentive and become braver than ever fetching food. 

Then the other day this happened.

It was quite magical!

Hope that made you smile!

Back soon with some makes.

Jane

xxx

This was the weekend that was ...

It started with this.

The annual Floating Market was back!

A whole array of different traders turn up once a year to sell their wares - and of course look very pretty!

Of course Mike soon found his favourite.

And me!

Peek inside.

Of course one of the hidden treats is sitting in our garden listening to the conversations of people going by. No - it's not in the least bit nosey it's - errrr - ummmmm - being interested.

Closer to home we've had the robins nesting in the ivy. They are now so used to us that they are almost eating out of my hand. Not sure what the people walking by would think of me though - hand full of dried mealworms outstretched as I cheerily quip 'come on little fella.' I don't know how or when this actually happened but that seems to be my default response to any creature I now come across. 

Not sure what would happen if one of them answered me back. 

Here he is posing on the bird feeder (he's that tiny dot).

As for our poor old blackbird chick - sigh - he was doing very well until last Friday when we found him lying in the path. Not a scratch on him. So much so that Mike even tried to do a mini resuscitation. 

It didn't work :( 

Here he is in happier times (the chick not Mike).

Mike's a bit taller.

With a bit of a beard.

And trousers.

Mostly.

I've starting knitting a sock! Winwick Mum is hosting a wonderful sockalong - do pop over and see what she has posted so far. But in typical impatient fashion I wanted to get started. 

So I have. 

Feeling positive so far but haven't 'turned the heel' yet.

 Wish me luck.

And the 'eyelash from Oswestry' fabric has been cut out to make a simple skirt. Now I'm concerned it's more of a craft cotton, without much give, and I - erm - need a bit of give! I've decided I'm going to stitch very narrow seams in a bid to convince myself that my size hasn't gone up.

Other than that we've been spending a fair old chunk of time at the allotment. 

'The WHAT? You kept that quiet!'

We've even started to pick a few lettuce! I foresee a future where I develop a serious lettuce aversion in an attempt to not have to eat it three times a day.

And other than daily doings that's about the weekend summed up.

Hope you've had a good one.

Jane

xxx

Allotment Update!

The evenings have been too lovely to stay indoors so we've been creating mischief at the plot!

What's going up in your garden?

Jane

xxx